Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each
other, outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little
nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done
when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give
you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says, "A Circumcision."
And the second kid says, "Whoa, Good luck buddy, I had that done when I
was born. Couldn't walk for a year."
******
CAN COLD WATER CLEAN DISHES?
A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very rural area
of Georgia. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast
for him consisting of eggs and bacon. He noticed a film-like substance
on his plate and he questioned his grandfather, "Are these plates
clean?" His grandfather replied, "Those plates are as clean as cold
water can get them, so go on and finish your meal".
That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for
lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of his plate, and a
substance that looked like dried egg yokes..... so he asks again, "Are
you sure these plates are clean"? Without looking up from his hamburger,
the grandfather says, "I told you before; those dishes are as clean as
cold water can get them. Now don't ask me about it anymore!"
Later that afternoon, he was on his way out to get dinner in a
nearby town. As he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl
and wouldn't let him pass so he said, "Grampa, your dog won't let me
out." Without diverting his attention from the football game he was
watching on TV his grandfather shouted, .."COLDWATER, go lay down!"
--------------------------------
Don't ask... I'm bored out of my flippin' mind...
