The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

man a tee

Teehee, I love these, but I'll restrain from stealing your thunder.

I could do so many every day, but to keep it going for a while, i'll keep it to one a day.

man a tee

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

man a tee

Crop circles are Chuck's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f**k down.

Finally, the "crop circle" hoax has been resolved.
Norris + weed whacker = Enlightenment

Thank You

Chuck Norris once donated 10 liters of his own blood. After that he won the Tour de France on a pogo stick.

man a tee

I admit, I'm stealing this from the fortressonfourth.com board about Josh Davis, but it correlates well:

Chuck Norris doesn't urinate, his urine escapes because it fears him

I have my source, but if I give it away then there goes all my fun!

man a tee

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Edited 12/15/2005 12:24 am by manatee666

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

man a tee

God wanted 10 days to create the earth. Chuck Norris gave him 6.

Chuck Norris doesn't read. He stares at the words until they give him information.

remember the pool hall fight in code of silence when he beats the doodoooo out of like 50 guys. that was sweet.

The itsy bitsy spider
Went down the water spout
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain
And Chuck Norris stomped on the spider for trying to pull that s.hrimpboat again.

I'm a White Sox fan, but came here so I can post on this great thread.

I made up this Chuck Norris fact.. see if its any good:

"Chuck Norris talks in the third person... because he killed the other two."

Chuck Norriss's tears cure cancer... too bad he doesn't cry.

Chuck Norris shot down German enemy planes in WWII. He didn't have a gun, he just pointed at them and said "BANG"

Here's another funny one:

Someone once told Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks weren't the best way to kick someone.... Historians recorded this as the greatest mistake anyone has ever had.

I wanna see Chuck VS Roddy Piper in a steel cage.