The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
man a tee
I could do so many every day, but to keep it going for a while, i'll keep it to one a day.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Finally, the "crop circle" hoax has been resolved.Norris + weed whacker = Enlightenment
Chuck Norris once donated 10 liters of his own blood. After that he won the Tour de France on a pogo stick.
I admit, I'm stealing this from the fortressonfourth.com board about Josh Davis, but it correlates well:
Chuck Norris doesn't urinate, his urine escapes because it fears him
I have my source, but if I give it away then there goes all my fun!
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
I'm a White Sox fan, but came here so I can post on this great thread.
I made up this Chuck Norris fact.. see if its any good:
"Chuck Norris talks in the third person... because he killed the other two."
Here's another funny one:
Someone once told Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks weren't the best way to kick someone.... Historians recorded this as the greatest mistake anyone has ever had.